Who-sane's: a diary of a Jordanian expat

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED!

2007-04-13T01:10:00.000+04:00

The new address is:

http://who-sane.com

Thank you!

MOVED!

2007-04-10T23:21:00.001+04:00

New address:

http://who-sane.com

Scary Thought!

2007-04-09T20:30:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

I was listening to Fairuz's beautiful song "Nassam 3alaina El Hawa".

It's funny how you can enjoy something without seriously thinking about it. Yesterday I downloaded this song and enjoyed listening to it. Today I played it, but I listened carefully to the lyrics.

I realized that the song gives me the creeps!

فزعانة يا قلبي ... إكبر بهالغربة ... وما تعرفني بلادي
خدني خدني ... خدني على بلادي

You can enjoy listening to the song by clicking play above, or download it here (Right click, save as).

The Proud Palestinian ...

2007-04-07T14:46:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

All I was doing was enjoying my favorite meal mloukhieh, until I was stopped by an article I read on the newspaper that I was eating on (an old, unstylish, habit I can't seem to get rid of).

Bassam Shariff, a 58-year-old Palestinian man, was found dead yesterday morning in his car parked on Al Wahda Street, opposite the Pierre Cardin outlet in Sharjah. The palestinian man died in his car last month after living in it for the past THREE years! And where did that happen? In the UA-friggin-E!

Can you believe this nonsense? In a country which boasts the highest rates of millionaires and billionaires in the Arab region ... an old man ... tired, lonely and broke ... slept every night in the front seat of his broken-down old car, till one morning he was found dead.

Though he was living in penury, and had not been keeping well for some time, he would never accept alms from people

Bassam Shariff is survived by his sister who lives in the US and his brother who works as a doctor in Palestine.

I wish I'd known the proud Bassam Shariff, the man who lived and died in his car yet never accepted alms from people. I probably lived about an hour away from Bassam, but I guess even if I knew him he wouldn't have accepted anything from me; his pride wouldn't have allowed him to.

I googled Bassam Shariff and only found ONE lousy mention to his death on another outdated blog. So basically no one really gave a shit about his life and no one gave a shit about his death either.

I only made it through the chicken wing before I realized that the mloukhieh doesn't really taste as good anymore.

Tagged!

2007-04-06T02:15:00.000+04:00

Thanks 7aki fadi for the tag.

1. If there was a fire at your house and you could save only one thing (item) what would that be?

My bonsai tree (Boubou) ... and NO I did not name her that .. that's just the way it is.

2. What is the most embarrassing situation you have been in?

I had one of the most grumpiest, despicable, clients on the face of the earth. She was the largest thing you'd ever see. Now I don't have a problem with overweight people, au contraire, I find them very sweet and nice. But this lady had some serious issues. Not only did she look hideous, but her attitude was so bitchy it just made it sometimes impossible to work with her. She was really irritating. Me and my colleagues even came up with lots of nicknames for her. Some of the most common were: Her Royal Fatness and Bitch from Hell (I know we're so mean, shame on us) :-E

So one day she sends me an email, and I wanted to forward it to my other colleague to ask about something, but instead of hitting forward and adding my colleagues address, I hit reply and I wrote back:

Hey Amber,

Bitch from hell is following up on what happened with the brochure.

Regards,

And I send it directly back to the Bitch from Hell.

Needless to say, it was reported to my boss and I was immediately taken off the account!

Very embarassing!

3. If you can do over a part of your life, what will you change?

I guess I should've tried harder to stay in Jordan.

Tiger, Mohanned Al Arabiat, you're both tagged ... you're it! ... (3ala abo ommak) <-- WTF?

And the Award Goes to ...

2007-04-04T13:43:00.000+04:00

A recent post by 7aki fadi brought back very old memories.

Although they were from different parts of Jordan, both my grandmothers used to share the same weird curses on me that no one could really explain. But of course I had to master the art of differentiating between these curses and know when it was serious, sarcastic, or when it was a joke.

Some examples:

y7ok 7atharak (يحك حظرك)
yiglib ri7mak (يقلب رحمك)
ybain elli yso66ak or y6ossak depending on the mood (يبين اللي يسطك أو يطسك)
khara elli yodomlak or yo6morak - when i do something real bad, like when I blew up grama's back yard with kerosene.

Oh the memories!

These are few of the sweet endearments I grew up hearing. Now you'd think anyone growing up hearing this kinda sh!t would need serious therapy, but it's funny how men turn out to look like normal human being with no psychological complexes to mention. As if it was some sort of an Advanced Verbal Immunity System (نظام تمسحة متطور).

I'm not sure if these words even have a meaning. It could be the case that back then someone would come up with a cool curse and then it'd get picked up and used. Who knows ....

Or maybe back then they had some sort of an Annual Cursing Competition where the whole garyeh would meet and the one who comes up with the coolest weirdest curse wins.

Like a 'Coolest Cursing Awards (CCA)', and mokhtar el garyeh, after thorough consideration with the garyeh's council, would present the CCA Award to the most creative curser. Of course there'd be categories, like the funniest curse, the unexplainable curse, and the unpronouncable curse, and so forth ...

And this year's award goes toooooo ....
3ogla el fa6ableh for "allah iyfajjir kawakbak"

*Applause*

.... followed by 3ogla's speech how he wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for his father's continuous beating and his mother's endless swearing and cursing.

*Applause*

Later on they go celebrate and have an eat-all-the-mansaf-you-can-eat treat.

Last day at work ...

2007-04-01T16:14:00.001+04:00

Dear to whom it may not concern ...

After three years of working at my company, yesterday was my last day at ... It was not easy going through the day knowing I won't be working with all my colleagues anymore ... :-(

I wrote a long cheesy farewell email and sent it to all the my colleagues ... and in one of the sentences I wrote:

"First and foremost I’d like to thank Mike and Eileen for inspiring me and sharing their knowledge and experiences. It won’t be exaggeration if I said I owe it all to you, well maybe not all of it but most of it, maybe not most of it but a significant portion of it."

So my cheeky boss, Mike, replies with a long email and to get back at me for saying the above, he says:

I don’t understand your quote: “maybe not all of it but most of it, maybe not most of it but a significant portion of it?” That sounds like me talking with the accountant about your gratuity settlement. (Just teasing, babe.)".

Then in the evening we all went and had an open-bar farewell party, courtesy my boss.

Now one of my biggest fears has always been change and the fear of the unknown, and I'm not sure what to expect yet at my new company, but it's looking really boring. Although stable, but boring.

But at least now I don't have to worry about spending at least 2 weeks every month traveling to other countries on silly business trips, and I don't have to worry about dealing with the stupidist clients on the face of the earth on a daily basis.

Next Sunday is my first day in the new company, so I'll keep you posted how that goes.

Wish me luck guys :-)

Politics Deciphered!

2007-03-31T19:10:00.000+04:00

Ever heard a better interpretation of politics?

The Bald and the Beautiful

2007-03-30T17:22:00.000+04:00

To whom it may or may not concern ...

I participated in a CNN poll whether Donald Trump would look better with no hair.

60% (15333 people) thought he would, while the 40% (10027 people) thought No, he won't look better ...

The poll was created after Trump was challenged by Vince McMahon to a wrestling match, but of course they're not going to wrestle each other!

Each of them will have his own wrestler to compete on his behalf in a "Battle of the Billionaires". If Trump loses, McMahon will shave Trump's head bold.

"Hopefully, I have really dull scissors so I can yank the rest of it out that I can't cut," McMahon said. "But I may be surprised how much Mother Nature has already beaten me to the punch". <--- LOL @ THAT!!! So I kind of saw in my mind's eye how Trump would look like with no hair and made a humble photoshop attempt as to how Trump would look if he's to lose the battle and get all his controversial hair shaved. I personally think he looks better. Now we can all tell Trump's hair "You're fired!"

Here's the original picture of him WITH hair.

Not that I think it matters to any of us, ~~but what do you think looks better on him?~~ but do you think he's less uglier with a bald?

Yir7am Jiddak: Part 1

2007-03-29T10:04:00.000+04:00

To whom it may or may not concern ...

Setting: Somewhere in Jordan, sometime in the past, two Jordanians in their early twenties in a small cold room with a soubbit Roumo (kerosene heater) bifasfiso bizir abul shilin :

Jordanian 1: 3al 3afyeh!
Jordanian 2: hala!

Jordanian 1: kaifak?
Jordanian 2: mlee7, enta kaif?

Jordanian 1: wallah makil khara ya zam <--- short for zalameh
Jordanian 2: wal, laish ya zam?

Jordanian 1: garfan w 6afran w melta3in el sharaf taba3i
Jordanian 2: ya zam 3adi ... ya3ni hoo la7alak, ma 3adam el mo2akhatheh, bas kolna 6afraneen w makleen khara

Jordanian 1: 3a goultak wallah ya abu shreek, el kol 6afran w zahgan, wil mout ma3 el jama3a ra7meh
Jordanian 2: ya zalameh smi3it shoo sar bi folan?

Jordanian 1: la2, shoo malo?
Jordanian 2: a3tak 3omro!

Jordanian 1: lah lah lah ... ra7mato allah 3alaih, kan zalameh 6ayyib
Jordanian 2: fi3lan, wil kol be7mid feeh

Jordanian 1: yallah shoo bidna nsawwi
Jordanian 2: ma hay 7al el dinya

Setting: Some where in the future, after immigrating to a better country, the two very same Jordanians meet.

Jordanian 1: what up dude?
Jordanian 2: yoooo, keefak buddy?

Jordanian 1: shoo? whats cookin?
Jordanian 2: mafi shee ... just chillaxin' man!

Jordanian 1: tab wain el chicks ya dude?
Jordanian 2: they took my jaggy and ra7o to get some more drinks, u know .. lzoom el ga3deh, ehhh 2azdi el 2a3deh ya man

Jordanian 1: akeed man, akeed
Jordanian 2: yooo duuuuuude, did u see shoo sar fi Anna Nicole Smith

Jordanian 1: la2 shoo sar?
Jordanian 2: bigollak, ehhh gazdi bi2ollak, ehhh 2azdi bi2ollak enno she died

Jordanian 1: lah lah lah, not cool man
Jordanian 2: yaaaaa, not cool bil marra ya man

Jordanian 1: did you watch el video taba3ha?
Jordanian 2: min zaman ya man

To be continued ...

The Groundbreaking Event!

2007-03-27T13:05:00.000+04:00

To whom it may not concern ...

Alright this is a quick one.

So last month we sent out an invitation to some VIP's and senior journalists for a "groundbreaking event" that my company was organizing (I work in events & PR).

For the VVIP's who don't speak English, I had asked my colleague to send them an Arabic invitation, which she did.

The next day, I started receiving calls from those VVIP's asking what the hell was the event all about, and different kinds of weird stuff. So I immediately asked my colleague to send me a copy of the Arabic invitation which she'd sent them, and what did it say?

It was supposed to say something like:

You are cordially invited to the groundbreaking occasion of blah blah

And I sh!t you not, the Arabic equivalent read:

ندعوكم لحضور حفل تكسير أول بلاطة

Now excuse me please while I stab my heart with a BiC pen.

Hooters is coming to town!

2007-03-25T10:08:00.000+04:00

To whom it may or may not concern ...

I read a post on another blog that made me feel uummmmm, well I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now. I'm a bit of both, excited and troubled. Oh the confusion is overwhelming!

Dubai residents are in for one heck of a treat: lots of double D's, F's and some G's if they're lucky enough! A couple of days ago, Hooters chain of restaurants has confirmed that Dubai is on their expansion plan!

With over 425 branches in 20 countries, Hooters did not mention in its statement when the Dubai branch will be launched.

According to the Hooters Employee requirements, any Hooters Girl must:

Wear the Hooters Girl uniform.
Interact and entertain customers.
Have sex appeal and be comfortable with any sexual innuendo and insinuations.
And of course, the bigger the bust the better.

I'm just not sure how Hooters Dubai will handle their PR. Would be quiet a nice case study.

Ancient Jordanian Drama!

2007-03-24T22:23:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

How on earth did Jordan manage to lose all its great names in the movie industry?

Where did they go? Rabee3 Shehab, Nabil Masheeni, Hisham Yanis, Nabil Sawalha, Raw7i El Safadi, Dawood Jalajel, the el 3abbadi guy ... and so many others.

Where the hell are they?

I remember when the whole region couldn't wait for another Jordanian series to start! Now all you do is immediately switch the channel if you hear a Jordanian accent on TV.

I'm sure you all remember "Abo 3awwad" ... or "Al 3ilmo Noor" and lots of other wonderful series .. oh and the hilarious 3azzooz ...

oh well ... those were the good 'ol days!

Prepare for Glory!

2007-03-22T02:27:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may not concern ...

I spent the last couple of days trying to think of a possible connection between my ancestry and whether possibly, maybe, perhaps, they might have immigrated from Sparta to Irbid, but, Alas, with no luck!

Now here's one of the best movies I've ever seen, which to be honest ... makes Troy look like a walk in the park! For 2 hours I felt I'd miss something impoerant if I so muched blinked!

No wonder the Iranians got all crossed about the whole movie .. I mean who wouldn't be embarased with 300 men standing up to an army of immortals.

I wish it was longer though, an additional hour of the movie wouldn't have been bad at all ...

Then on my home I thought to myself, damnit man, tonight, I dine home :(

Stupid America!

2007-03-20T14:45:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

While the major concern for millions of families around the world is what they will feed their children the next day, apparently this is the least of the worries Americans are experiencing these days. Their concerns at present are far greater and worthier than that!

Who's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby? This is the question making millions of Americans sleepless at night! It is not saving children around the world from starvation, it is not fighting crime or HIV, and it's definitely not global warming. Who's ya daddy is what's concerning them and that's why Anna Nicole Smith is one of the most searched names on the net!

I personally wouldn't be surprised if none of the three dumb-asses will turn out to be the real fathers of the baby. Results of the DNA test will be publicized soon.

Oh Anna, may your soul rest in peace, for your only purpose in this life was apparently to highlight how stupid Americans are!

By the way, it wasn't really difficult putting a title to this post.

Great Jordanian Talent!

2007-03-03T16:29:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

I was surprised when I first found out about Yazan Rousan and the really nice music he's coming up with.

Check out his website, he has all his songs available for downloading.

I was particularly impressed by the song "Galbi".

Some support should be provided to this talented dude. And here's to new excellent Jordanian talent!

To Blog or Not to Blog?

2007-02-03T20:13:00.000+04:00

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

That is a question I've been asking myself for quiet a while now. Should I blog or should I not blog and just keep reading other people's posts?

And my answer was like many of you around here: "Fudge it! What harm could come out of it? If I keep off politics, then it's alright. If I don't talk about racism, then it's alright. If I don't talk about sex, drugs, religion, or disgraceful history, then it's alright. If I totally ignore and not mentioned a word of any shamless government acts, then it will sure be alright!"

Then the real question really hit me so strong. What the hell am I gonna talk about? And what happens if I start blogging and got hooked on it? I really don't need more addictive habits, especially after getting rid of the bad old habits, or at least I think I did, but that's another story.

But what the heck, I'm gonna give it a shot anyways. If it works, it works, if it doesn't then who the hell cares! :)

So if you read this, check me out soon, might read something you like.