And the Award Goes to ...

A recent post by 7aki fadi brought back very old memories.

Although they were from different parts of Jordan, both my grandmothers used to share the same weird curses on me that no one could really explain. But of course I had to master the art of differentiating between these curses and know when it was serious, sarcastic, or when it was a joke.

Some examples:

• y7ok 7atharak (يحك حظرك)
• yiglib ri7mak (يقلب رحمك)
• ybain elli yso66ak or y6ossak depending on the mood (يبين اللي يسطك أو يطسك)
• khara elli yodomlak or yo6morak - when i do something real bad, like when I blew up grama's back yard with kerosene.

Oh the memories!

These are few of the sweet endearments I grew up hearing. Now you'd think anyone growing up hearing this kinda sh!t would need serious therapy, but it's funny how men turn out to look like normal human being with no psychological complexes to mention. As if it was some sort of an Advanced Verbal Immunity System (نظام تمسحة متطور).

I'm not sure if these words even have a meaning. It could be the case that back then someone would come up with a cool curse and then it'd get picked up and used. Who knows ....

Or maybe back then they had some sort of an Annual Cursing Competition where the whole garyeh would meet and the one who comes up with the coolest weirdest curse wins.

Like a 'Coolest Cursing Awards (CCA)', and mokhtar el garyeh, after thorough consideration with the garyeh's council, would present the CCA Award to the most creative curser. Of course there'd be categories, like the funniest curse, the unexplainable curse, and the unpronouncable curse, and so forth ...

And this year's award goes toooooo ....

3ogla el fa6ableh for "allah iyfajjir kawakbak"

*Applause*

.... followed by 3ogla's speech how he wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for his father's continuous beating and his mother's endless swearing and cursing.

*Applause*

Later on they go celebrate and have an eat-all-the-mansaf-you-can-eat treat.