The Groundbreaking Event!

To whom it may not concern ...

Alright this is a quick one.

So last month we sent out an invitation to some VIP's and senior journalists for a "groundbreaking event" that my company was organizing (I work in events & PR).

For the VVIP's who don't speak English, I had asked my colleague to send them an Arabic invitation, which she did.

The next day, I started receiving calls from those VVIP's asking what the hell was the event all about, and different kinds of weird stuff. So I immediately asked my colleague to send me a copy of the Arabic invitation which she'd sent them, and what did it say?

It was supposed to say something like:

You are cordially invited to the groundbreaking occasion of blah blah

And I sh!t you not, the Arabic equivalent read:

ندعوكم لحضور حفل تكسير أول بلاطة

Now excuse me please while I stab my heart with a BiC pen.

Stupid America!

Dear to whom it may or may not concern ...

While the major concern for millions of families around the world is what they will feed their children the next day, apparently this is the least of the worries Americans are experiencing these days. Their concerns at present are far greater and worthier than that!

Who's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby? This is the question making millions of Americans sleepless at night! It is not saving children around the world from starvation, it is not fighting crime or HIV, and it's definitely not global warming. Who's ya daddy is what's concerning them and that's why Anna Nicole Smith is one of the most searched names on the net!

I personally wouldn't be surprised if none of the three dumb-asses will turn out to be the real fathers of the baby. Results of the DNA test will be publicized soon.

Oh Anna, may your soul rest in peace, for your only purpose in this life was apparently to highlight how stupid Americans are!

By the way, it wasn't really difficult putting a title to this post.